These past couple years really do feel foggy in some ways. I think I've allowed myself to be swallowed up by life...especially school. I've been very convicted lately of a couple things. Praise God for revealing our sin! The first is that I have been sacrificing relationships with my God, my family, and many friends to the idol of education. I've poured much of myself into my college career...and I'm reaping what I've sown. Sure, my grades are pretty awesome and I have a good reputation in my department. Big deal. I'm also dealing with nasty physical effects of stress, I've estranged very dear people, and fostered a terrible tendency of distrusting my creators ability to protect me. So here I am, 3ish months from graduating...chronic back pain, headaches, insomnia, and a big black portfolio don't even come close to being worth it. Praise God for His faithfulness - and that he has placed so many in my life who demonstrate that faithfulness. I have much to learn from them. Praise God for His power to reconcile us to Himself and to each other. By God's grace, I will never again reap such a painful and unsatisfactory harvest.
I've also been convicted of my anxious heart. To choose anxiety over trusting my God to keep me in peace...is downright stupid and sinful. The extent of my sin in this area has not been clear to me until now. Praise God for removing the fog from my eyes. Let the refining begin. Praise Him. He is good.
God is bigger.
p.s. Praise God for Phil, I am so thankful for my husband.
