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Out of the fog...into the fire

These past couple years really do feel foggy in some ways. I think I've allowed myself to be swallowed up by life...especially school. I've been very convicted lately of a couple things. Praise God for revealing our sin! The first is that I have been sacrificing relationships with my God, my family, and many friends to the idol of education. I've poured much of myself into my college career...and I'm reaping what I've sown. Sure, my grades are pretty awesome and I have a good reputation in my department. Big deal. I'm also dealing with nasty physical effects of stress, I've estranged very dear people, and fostered a terrible tendency of distrusting my creators ability to protect me. So here I am, 3ish months from graduating...chronic back pain, headaches, insomnia, and a big black portfolio don't even come close to being worth it. Praise God for His faithfulness - and that he has placed so many in my life who demonstrate that faithfulness. I have much to learn from them. Praise God for His power to reconcile us to Himself and to each other. By God's grace, I will never again reap such a painful and unsatisfactory harvest.

I've also been convicted of my anxious heart. To choose anxiety over trusting my God to keep me in peace...is downright stupid and sinful. The extent of my sin in this area has not been clear to me until now. Praise God for removing the fog from my eyes. Let the refining begin. Praise Him. He is good.


God is bigger.

p.s. Praise God for Phil, I am so thankful for my husband.

Meanwhile...

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him." Psalm 28:7

The wind has been rushing around frantically all day. The phonebook that got dropped outside our front door was making the best windblown sounds you can imagine - so I left it there. I wish I could make sounds like that...or maybe I just want to crawl into the middle of that sound. Kind of like standing in a storm with the wind driving against you...swirling around your ear drums. It's not chaotic though. It's all in order. I'm glad that I serve a God of order. I'm glad he makes sounds like this. The "be still and know that I am God" sounds.



Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Thy peace.