For now...

* I can hear the girls laughing in the other room

* This weather is so refreshing. It makes me feel out of control...in the best sense.

...."Listen to me," cried Syme.... "Shall I tell you the secret of the whole world? It is that we have only known the back of the world. We see everything from behind, and it looks brutal. That is not a tree, but the back of a tree. That is not a cloud, but the back of a cloud. Cannot you see that everything is stooping and hiding a face? If we could only get round in front-"....G.K.C. (The Man Who was Thursday) 

* If I could choose to be anywhere - it would be right here - exactly where I am.

* You should see the way the rays of sun are creeping through the house. There's one above my bed and I have no idea how it got there.

You will not sleep, if you lie there a thousand years, until you have opened your hand and yielded that which is not yours to give or to withhold. You may think you are dead, but it will be only a dream; you may think you have come awake, but it will still be only a dream. Open your hand, and you will sleep indeed- then wake indeed. - George Macdonald (Lilith)

* Don't ever take shadows for granted. They're too extraordinary. 

* There's a robin fluffing it's feathers just out my window...wonder what it's like to be so brightly colored

Some also have wished that the next way to their Father's house were here, that they might be troubled no more with either Hills or Mountains to go over; but the way is the way, and there's an end. - Bunyan 

that is all.

I want to be...

More 

...now let us live up to what we have already attained...-philippians 3:16

justification, yes - and a great weight of responsibility on those who have been given much

...to live is Christ and to die is gain... - philippians 1:21

Always waiting...because...apart from God...

...all is meaningless, a chasing after the wind -ecclesiastes 1:14

I want to be...

Less

 He must become greater; I must become less...-john 3:30

Weaker than ever - to be confident in my God's perfection, glory, and grace

...maintain love and justice, and wait for your God always. - hosea 12:6

I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord 

in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord - psalm 27:13-14

Too much in my head...

the day opened with a freezing run toward the sunrise and closed with Em and I perched in a tree over the river 

how can I explain all that happened in between when I can't rightly describe the ends?

dear friends...created in God's image...what a comfort

I find that I am indeed still grieving 

   ...because, as you probably know, it isn't a state, but a process. It keeps changing - like a winding road with quite a new landscape at each bend. - C.S. lewis (The Problem of Pain)

and that a relationship I thought was over by satan's deception...is only begining by God's amazing grace

...The caged bird sings with a fearful trill 

of things unknown but longed for still 

and his tune is heard on the distant hill

 for the caged bird sings of freedom... 

please, pray for the bird.

Today has been beautiful

and I see now just how weary I am

...I have calmed and quieted my soul...- Psalm 131

let it be so.

You should have seen the way the street lamp shone through the tree over the river. The branches were all shot through by the beams and made to look like a mass of spiders webs. 

...that is all

Currently...

*Praising God for amazing fellowship with wise friends. 

*Listening to Boy With a Coin for the millionth time.  What can I say? It's gorgeous. 

*Reading things like this...

If human life is in fact ordered by a beneficent being whose knowledge of our real needs and of the way in which they can be satisfied infinitely exceeds our own, we must expect a priori that His operations will often appear to us far from beneficent and far from wise, and that it will be our highest prudence to give Him our confidence in spite of this..." C.S, Lewis  - On Obstinacy in Belief 

*And this...

He had turned his eyes so as to see suddenly the great face of Sunday, which wore a strange smile. 

     "Have you," he cried in a dreadful voice, "have you ever suffered?"

 As he gazed, the great face grew to an awful size, grew larger than the colossal mask of Memnon, which had made him scream as a child. It grew larger and larger, filling the whole sky; then everything went black. Only in the blackness before it entirely destroyed  his brain he seemed to hear a different voice saying a commonplace text that he had heard somewhere, "Can ye drink of the cup that I drink of?" - G.K. Chesterton - The Man Who Was Thursday

That is all

Scattered...I need my brain to go *schloop*

A snowflake landed on my nose

"...as we're lifted out of nowhere, with sunspots in our eyes..."

I spied a birds nest

Scads of music...swirling around in my head...what else is new

So much beauty in the world. So much. So many ideas and so much desire, but what good is all that without the ability to express. Frustration city. I feel like a creative implosion.

"There is nothing new under the sun..."

The IRS decided they didn't like my tax return. I decided I didn't like them. Then I realized that they were in the right. Of course they were.

Swing dancing was a very...singular experience this week. Maybe unfortunate is a better word.  I can't remember the last time I felt so repulsed.

"Perfection begins when it hurts, I'm healing in slashes and burns, and that's how you live with a curse..."

My parents sent me a really sweet card for Valentines day. They're absolutely amazing - I'm so blessed by their wisdom and encouragement...and the iTunes card :-D They know me so well...

In case I hadn't mentioned - I live with eleven of the most amazing women I've ever had the privilege of knowing. 

"Suffice it to say there's a time and a place so I wait..."

That is all.

today...

*I let Wendy in the house through the second story bathroom window

*I sang loud songs with my roommate 

*I filed my taxes

*I talked with someone in another state

*I made a tough decision

*I wrote a "has got to happen" list

*Life seemed big

*I felt small

*God was bigger

*Everything else was insignificant

That is all.